My Parents 60th Wedding Anniversary

My Parents' 60th Anniversary of their Wedding here in Raleigh at Hayes Barton Methodist Church was last month. My brother, sisters and I have always celebrated this special occasion. You may have seen my fun video toast on my Instagram that day.

"Happy 60th to My Parents!"

We always expect feelings of gratitude, admiration and wistfulness for days gone by. We want to remember. This year, I wasn't prepared for the happy I felt .... even for just moments. Do you know how happy this little Instagram post made me feel?! For a moment, I was celebrating "My Parents!" Just saying "My Parents" felt so beautiful.  In fact, I didn't expect to be overcome with emotion from referring to my parents.

You see it has been my entire adult lifetime since I have been able to refer to "my parents" when both of my parents were living. They shared a beautiful life, an extraordinary love and legacy.  I've written about losing my Daddy, our Daddy, Husband, Leader, Friend, Advocate, Attorney, Deacon, sooooo much more lost way too soon. Then, I've shared about my Mommy, our Mommy, Wife, Leader, Friend, Advocate, Teacher, Community Leader and Builder, Music Ministry leader, soooo much more lost later and always to soon to their child. Even as an adult child.

There have been many stages through the years. This year, on our parents' - "my parents" - anniversary, these feelings caused me to pause....  For a moment. I saw us celebrating our parents, the party we created, the travel to get us together, the speeches we were making, the gifts we were giving, the food, all the favorite perennial, Southern dishes that our mother had prepared for so many years. Then, the photos.... oh, the selfies and family selfies we would take. The children, the grandchildren and the great grandchildren what joy!

They were beautiful and ecstatic moments!  Naturally, too soon I was brought back to reality and the aching was real which reminded me of the Emily Dickinson poem my mother introduced us to when our Daddy went on to heaven. If you have lost a loved one and had the instant decisions of life to make in the middle of the fervent emotions, you understand The Bustle in a House the morning after death....

The Bustle in a House #1108

Related Poem Content Details

BY EMILY DICKINSON

The Bustle in a House 

The Morning after Death 

Is solemnest of industries 

Enacted upon Earth – 

The Sweeping up the Heart 

And putting Love away 

We shall not want to use again 

Until Eternity – 

As painful as the loss is, I'm so grateful we had the love and life we did! I've found the beauty in the truth that those who go before live on in those lives they've left here.  They loved life and family! I love their contagious smiles here! 

Since writing this, Prince Harry revealed that he finally sought grief counseling many chaotic years after tragically losing his dear mother, Princess Diana. I well understand. Like Prince Harry, I learned the chaos of  traumatic loss and the benefit of counseling, and more counseling. Thankfully, I've experienced the beauty of time, life, family and love growing beautifully after a season. 

Like "The Bustle In A House," I look forward to the love I've swept up in my heart being "used" again in Eternity when I see "my parents!" 

xo

Warmly,

Carolina Mama

* Resource I have shared prior is "Grief Share." "GriefShare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone." 

Not sponsored. I shared the success of my own Grief Share journey after many years. You could even use the course and resources on your own. The daily email is encouraging as well. 

What I Love About My Middle School Kids

We're right in the middle. The middle of Middle School. Some days, I cannot even believe how we're here already. Others, it feels like we've been hanging out here....  When you're in the middle, you know the trials and triumphs. Middle school is not just puberty, insecurities and teenager angst. These Middle Schoolers are moving forward with incredible tenacity. 

Recently, these Middle School parents "got out" for a date.  My husband and I had the best Valentine's date at DPAC - Durham Performing Art's Center's - A Night with Harry Connick, Jr.  His music is wonderful and enchanting especially as we parent in the middle school years. Like these apropos lyrics - 

"we're right in the middle, ain't young, ain't old... 

but we're telling the greatest love story ever told." 

Truly, I believe this. We are. We're telling the greatest love story ever told. Ours. And that of our children. Our family.  Honestly, I love knowing this. And capturing the moments because they are fleeting. This made me want to share what I love about my Middle Schoolers.

What I Love About My Middle School Kids:

1) They Have Courage.  They possess a courage that some adults only dream of having.  Courage is the ability to do something that frightens one; it is strength in the face of pain or grief. They have great courage. The bravery they show on a day to day basis humbles me.

2) They Are Big Dreamers. I love this. They want to change the world because they are big dreamers. They can see the big picture. They believe. They are not jaded by society's limitations. They dream big and they know they can achieve it. I love that they are eager to work and dream outside of the box.

3) They Try Again, and Again. They are diligent - every day. Remember Middle School? Those are some tough days, and these kids, they are up for the occasion. They work hard, they try hard. Then, they try again. Be careful, you don't want to miss it. Because with everything going on, it could be missed. Give them credit for their endurance.

4) They are Independent. The best thing is that they are learning to be independent. For parents, it can be the hardest thing, as they step away onto their own path that will eventually take them on their own. It's like a Tale of Two Cities...the best of times, the worst of times. As a Mom of twin Middle Schoolers, I get to experience this double amplified. So, I'll admit, I can find it wonderful and worrisome. Yet, my children are right where they are supposed to be. They are wonderfully moving to their own independence. I'm learning and I love this. Most days. :)

5) They Are Compassionate.  Yes. I said that - Middle Schoolers Are Compassionate. They care. They love big. Really, they love animals, elderly, and children. Their BFFs and their BAEs. Even their parents and teachers. They love God and each other. I love their big hearts. Let's give them credit for who they are.

Today, I was driving down the road with one of my Middle Schoolers and we had this moment. These moments. And I realized how mature (maturing :) and bright they are. How they want to change the world. I was reminded we are right in the middle of this Middle School thing and I was reminded how much I love my Middle School Kids.

Are you a Middle School parent? Have you been? I hope this is helpful for the parents with rising Middle Schoolers. Bless you and your journey.

Warmly, Carolina Mama