Too many years ago today, I woke up fatherless.
In fact, five of us did. My parents were married almost 25 years had created a beautiful family of five children - eldest son and four girls - when life life took an unexpected turn for all of us. Ages 8 to 23. It was truly the epitome of "here today gone tomorrow."
When you have the brilliant, hero, Christian family-man, unmatched trial Attorney, friend, father, gregarious, hilarious, ...infinity father we had, life ends for a while - it does. Because of my Heavenly Father, life does go on and well. It takes a while for children to take in a seeming adult lesson.
We didn't expect it, didn't see it coming and clearly wished it hadn't. Aside from the fact that "I know whom I hath believeth" and the parallel fact that that He whom I believe in has my best interest in mind at all times, I still wonder how we would have made it. Stephen Curtis Chapman said it best, (no comparisons at all of child losing parent to parent losing child - both are the darkest of grief) when SCC said, "The only thing worse than our tragedy is to walk through this tragedy alone without God and bitter."
A hearty Amen to that these years later. SCC said it a little differently but resonates the same sentiments my mother has held since the day she lost her husband. "How do people do it without the Lord?" She has been a Rock and example these through these years.
The first years after losing my Daddy, I honestly did not want to talk about it. Too hard. People who didn't know him wouldn't "Get him" by my words. People who did were able to talk about him before I was. The talker that I am, thankfully there were counselors, family friends and mainly the Lord is faithful to His own. I stand amazed at His hand in my life,
It is fun to be on point today and saying what I have to say on this day.
Thanks for 'listening' and reminiscing. I'll leave ya'll with the poem my Daddy helped me pick out and recite in 8th grade.
Trees
by Joyce Kilmer
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
To the icon and first man in my life - I love you Daddy!
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6 comments:
First of all, thanks for sharing your thoughts about your dad, which couldn't have been easy since you said you never used to talk about it. I can't imagine that kind of loss. Secondly...I wanted to say hi since you stopped by my blog today! You asked if I am a Denver native, since your hubby is from Boulder...nope, I am Ohio born and raised! I still miss the midwest a lot but it is so beautiful here, too, and we still have the seasons to enjoy, thank goodness. :) Do you ever get back to Colorado?
-Carrie
Carrie, Oh there was talking. and, as you can see, there still is. There were counselorS, friends, etc.
All the talking in the world would not have made it 'easy.'
Yes, we regularly get back to Colorado to see all of Montain Man's family and lots of our friends.
What a beautiful post about a wonderful man. I have no other words.
So eloquently written. Thank you for sharing with us.
I loved that!
What a beautiful tribute to your daddy. My daddy died young, too. We also have made it and have stood with joy through our grief because of Jesus.
Your dad would be proud of you, your life, and your boys! I know your Heavenly Daddy is, too.
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