Twins: Creating Individual Time

Twin Individual Time

Studying Sunday School Lesson with Tiger A while Tiger B is at Basketball Camp!

A Twins Mama knows that amongst the sheer joy and doubleness of these blessings, there is only one mama. I'll be the first to admit when we became Parents of Twins, we were on cloud nine. We jumped in head first parenting 24/7. Just us in small town America with no family in state. Often we "managed the Twins." Survival ring a bell. :)

Those were some precious years. As the children grew and we settled into our family of four dynamics, we discovered it was all going at rocket speed. How could I cuddle one twin while nursing the other. How could I play patty-cake when the other wanted in. We did everything in a threesome or four pack as we called it. Still do.

We began to create ways to spend a little time with each child one-on-one. It can be a challenge and yet it is so rewarding.

The goal: once a week, one parent takes one twin and another takes the other. (Of course, as you add children the rotation increases but you can tell me about that.)

Here's what we wanted to share/have tried that works:

1) Mommy dates - Mommy takes one child on an outing just to play, eat or shop. (not a whole lot of shopping with the Tigers but you get the idea.)

2) Daddy dates - Daddy takes one child on an outing just to play sports, eat or be guys.

3) One Twins learns to cook Mac N' Cheese, Spaghetti with Mama while the other does recycling/changes light bulbs with Daddy.

4) Sometimes we have reading time separately: one-on-one with Mama while the other is one-on-one with Daddy.

5) This summer we've tried something awesome that is working like a charm: One Tiger is in Basketball Camp while the other is with Mama. Next, Soccer Camp for the other Tiger while our BBall guy is with me. There are several things right about this for us and mainly, they are both exploring a different sport. And they're enjoying different friends and plain ole scenery.

It is not always easy. The first time we tried this, the boys were 2ish - that small town America - and we took them to a Basketball game at Mountain Man's University. We discovered one Twin had an aversion to noise. A big screaming aversion.

We were proud of ourselves for quickly "rebounding" with flexibility. Mama would leave with the Twin longing for quiet and Daddy would stay with the Twin who curiously was watching the basketball game... except a minute into it they were both screaming --- for each other! Even this week when we left brother at camp (just for three hours), he says to me, I am calling my brother and proceeded to call him on his toy phone. As soon as we got in the car. :) And then he said it," Mom I miss him!"

Timing is everything. We had to slowly get into this "individual time" routine. Honestly, we had to wait a while just like always, we learned to "listen to our children" especially when they cannot express themselves.

Another bonus of individual time is it strengthens the Twin bond and family bond all the more because "Absence makes the heart grow founder."

But this week for now, we're loving "Individual Time!"

How do you do it? Multiples or not, how do you make time for each child individually?


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Stargazer said...

This "one on one" time is vitally important and not all parents realize it. Thanks for this great post.

Pat Marcantel-harvestworker

Mommie Daze said...

This is a great idea. We just went from one little boy to two when our second son was born last month. I can see this being something important to do with our sons too. One on one time does mean a lot to kids.