Mommy Matters, Twins And Letting Go

Summer has me thinking of milestones and letting go. The boys are growing and getting so big. We've finished another school year. I have two first graders! I've never said that before now.

One of the things about being a mother of twins, twins being my only children, is that you are doing life all at once all.the.time! It's sort of like life and parenting in general. Yet, there are no 'do overs,' no doing it again, learning for next time around. Whether it's 9 months, or 2 years. Going at life at this pace, I truly try to savor each minute. Each milestone. Each day.

I have a confession to make. Though I love to teach my boys, I love to let them be boys, children as long as possible too. What's the rush to grow up. Sometimes it's easy to get in the mode of he walked early, he's talking early, he's running, reading, writing... we kind of have the bar set high. That's not even counting if you listen in to overly prideful parents at the playdate or birthday party bragging about thier child.

For us, we love to let the boys enjoy each season. Toward the end of this school year, I noticed that one of the Tigers was asking me to open snacks, juice boxes, etc. just like he had... well all along. Again being a Mom who does it all now at once, it never occurred to me for a while to have him open the box. Yet about May I thought, surely he can do this. And I also thought but I really want to help him. (notice some Mommy letting go angst?) So I continued opening snacks and juices. Then in May with school just a few weeks from ending, Tiger hands me a Rice Krispy Treat snack (yes, I finally discovered Sam's club sells them in variety and I do not have to make them from scratch each time. ;) and was just asking me to open it when he jumped and spun away saying, "I can do this Ms. W. taught me how...!"

Proud of my son, next felt that my son's childhood is 'fleeing' and the next thought was I could have taught him that. So the Mommy Guilt post will be for another day. But I was happy for him becoming a big boy. I vowed to go ahead and let him be more independent.

About two weeks later, Tiger was opening a snack, struggling. And then I had my chance. Tiger, I asked, let me show you something that makes this super easy, You see this little flap.... I was able to complete the lesson. Happy face for this mommy and son,

Do you struggle to let them go, teach independence at whatever age or level? Let me know. Of course, suggestions are a bonus.
Carolina Mama


Kelsey S said...

WOw beautifully written thanks for sharing!


baby~amore' said...

very good points ... I agree there is no rush to grow up. Gosh they grow up so quickly as it is.

Let boys be boys .

Yes,we are doing the same things all at once and it tends to be easier to just do things for our children then encourage independence and mess LOL.

I think you are doing all the right things.

Carolina Mama said...

Thanks baby-amore' another twin boy mom! :)

Candace & Anna said...

I have an almost 3 year old little girl and I am finding it difficult to let certain things go. To let her venture out and try things on her own. I think Mommy guilt will be there either way you go. If you push independence you will feel guilty for maybe pushing to early (weather it is to early or not) or if you let them stay young and depend on you you worry that they are behind all the other kids. Thats the thing about being a mom there is no right or wrong answer so we have to worry about each one and think "should I have..."

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

So, so true that we get caught up in the "my baby did this" can take the fun and joy out of the simple moments. Great reminder just to let them be children for as long as possible.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog so that I could find your site. This post really touched me, as I think lots of mommas have trouble letting go (me included). Oh, and our little Tongginator is a twin MAGNET. She is close friends with three sets of twins -- often they are all over at once. Can we say chaos?!?! :)