Secrets to Raising Boys

Raising our boys is a joy, delight and hard work.  I'll be honest.  Being raised in a family of four girls and one older brother, I had no idea what being a "Boy Mom" would look like.  Now, eleven years later, I wanted to share a few things that help us greatly in this journey.  Here are our secrets to Raising Boys :

1) A Solid Faith.   Our faith is the glue of our family.  We are thankful to put our trust and hope in Christ and to turn to Him for guidance in raising our boys.  We turn to the Psalms and Proverbs for instruction and wisdom in raising our boys.

2) A Strong Man.   This whole thing would not happen if I didn't have such a rock solid man in my life. I am thankful for Lane, my Boulder Mountain Man, for his strength and consistency in leading our family. And he is so cute! :)

3) A Loving Mother.  Me, yeaaaa! Just joking.  However, I do believe in a Mother's love and thanks to my husband and my resolve to raise our children, I have been able to shower our children with love everyday.

4) Lots of Outdoor Time.  We rock the outdoors.  Seriously, we believe in the outdoors and activity time.  Pardon me, I do not mean signing up for every activity that hits your inbox just to be running and doing.  We have found that 'getting them out everyday' is key.  We are an active family and enjoy swimming, tennis, hiking, biking, walking, and light saber dueling.  Really, love spending time together and getting exercise most days. Research has shown how important this is for children and adults.

5) Boundaries and Structure.  Children love and respond to boundaries and structure.  We have found that the more consistent we are in this area, the more happy we all are.  The boys know what to expect when we set up a plan and stick to it.  This is true of a schedule, chores, play time, etc.

6) Joy of Reading.   We are committed to sharing our love of reading with our children.  Reading to your children will create a lifetime love of learning.  The benefits of reading aloud to your child are immeasurable.  It is a great family activity to read special books together aloud.  Children will read more and more on their on as this habit is developed.

                                                The love of learning, the sequestered nooks,

            And all the sweet serenity of books.

                                  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

7) Great Food, Great Times.   You know me, the Joie de Vive is going to be in here somewhere.  Seriously, enjoy the good times with your children and family.  We Southerners love to celebrate love with good food.  I do love to make wonderful home cooked meals for my family and bring us all around the table together.  These are the times and great memories for which life is made.  And back at the pool. :) Love this.

Raising twin boys is a joy and a privilege.  We also love to read Dr. James Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys" which is so great.

Are you raising boys?  What are your secrets? 

Warmly,  Carolina Mama

Boys Will Be Men One Day (As They Are Taught)

If we've heard it once, its been a hundred times, "boys will be boys."   We hear this from complete strangers and those near and dear to us.  It seems this is the accepted belief about raising boys in America.  Initially my response was, "Not my boys!" 


Whether it's behavioral or academic, "boys will be boys" seems to me to be a sell out.  Can we not expect our boys, soon to be young men, to represent?  This applied to their academics as well, and our daily parenting - we had to be intentional. As a mother of twin boys, dismissal parenting was not the answer.  I'll admit, I parenting can be a challenge.  I am often amazed at the time and effort and the surprises that parenting brings. 


So when I read this Wall Street Journal article by Thomas Spence, I fell in love. 
Someone understood. 


...we must "meet them where they are"—that is, pander to boys' untutored tastes.


"Boys will be boys"  or "pandering to boys' untutored tastes." 

"For elementary- and middle-school boys, that (meeting them where they are) means "books that exploit [their] love of bodily functions and gross-out humor." AP reported that one school librarian treats her pupils to "grossology" parties. "Just get 'em reading," she counsels cheerily. "Worry about what they're reading later."

The more venerable houses are just as willing to aim low. Penguin, which once used the slogan, "the library of every educated person," has its own "Gross Out" line for boys, including such new classics as "Sir Fartsalot Hunts the Booger."There certainly is no shortage of publishers ready to meet boys where they are. Scholastic has profitably catered to the gross-out market for years with its "Goosebumps" and "Captain Underpants" series. Its latest bestsellers are the "Butt Books," a series that began with "The Day My Butt Went Psycho."   Wall Street Journal Boys  Author Thomas Spence of Spence Publishing Company, Dallas. 

I'll add "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" to the list.  I do not see the need for our children to be 'educated' in the ways of negative peer pressure as part of their academics.  


We don't.  For us, not rewarding our sons with gaming videos and electronics actually is key to lack of dependance upon it.  I've wondered are our boys missing out, until I read reminders like this from the same Author, Thomas Spence: 

"I offer a final piece of evidence that is perhaps unanswerable: There is no literacy gap between home-schooled boys and girls. How many of these families, do you suppose, have thrown grossology parties?"


We don't.


What are your thoughts?  Parenting styles can vary vastly for academics and in general. How do you balance it all? 


Warmly, Carolina Mama